When Your Baby Won’t Nurse

It’s a common misconception, even among health care professionals, that babies can be stubborn, lazy, or difficult. But breastfeeding is a biological norm and a reflexive action. Breastfeeding involves coordination of many systems in the body. If a baby doesn’t latch, it’s because they can’t.

• musculoskeletal issues/tension 

• missing or weak reflexes

• neurological dysfunction

• oral restrictions (tongue tie) 

• birth trauma

• oral dysfunction

• birth interventions

• low milk supply

• breast anatomy

• engorgement

• illness in the infant

• stress in mom or baby

• nipple confusion/milk-flow preference

• sensory processing issues

• allergies

• reflux 

If your baby isn’t able to latch, finding a way to feed them is vital. Appropriate use of a bottle is one option, but alternative feeding devices like a cup or spoon (for a newborn) may be better. Consult an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) to help you decide what is best for you and your baby. 

If your baby isn’t latching or nursing well, pumping to replace feedings will encourage your body to continue making milk. An IBCLC can help you determine the cause of your baby’s feeding difficulty and come up with a plan to resolve it. In the meantime, the following ideas may assist your baby to breastfeed. 

• The more skin-to-skin contact (baby on your bare chest in a diaper), the better! Skin-to-skin has many benefits including allowing your baby easy access to your breasts, soothing the nervous system, regulating heart rate and breathing, increasing milk supply, calming your baby, and triggering feeding reflexes. Read more about the benefits of skin-to-skin here.

• Offer your breast often, but if your baby becomes too upset or you are feeling anxious or angry, try again another time when you are both calm. It’s important to make the breast a happy and comfortable place as much as possible.

• You can’t teach or force a baby to nurse, but you can create the right environment for doing so. Calm, quiet, gentle touch, gentle words, and relaxing music are a few ideas.

• Try latching your baby apart from hunger. If your baby is hungry, they are less likely to have the patience to attempt latching. Supplement your baby with around 1/2 or more of their normal feeding and then attempt to latch. It can also help to try latching your baby when they are sleepy or whenever you think they might like to suck for comfort.

• Consider sleeping near your baby. Many babies breastfeed better when they are not fully awake.

• Try hand expressing some milk or stimulating a letdown before attempting to latch your baby. Especially in a newborn, the smell and taste of milk may encourage feeding reflexes.

• Some babies are also more willing to stay latched if they receive an immediate reward. Using a feeding system like an SNS to supplement at the breast may be another option.

• Nipple shields sometimes allow resistant babies to latch. However, they are only a band-aid and do not treat the underlying issue. Please consult an IBCLC about the safe use and pros and cons of this tool.

• Movement can assist some babies with latching. Attempt to latch while walking, swaying, or sitting and gently bouncing on an exercise ball are few ideas. Breastfeeding while baby-wearing is another option.

• Water can be very relaxing for babies. Try taking a warm bath with your baby and latching in the bathtub.

• Try different positions. Laid-back breastfeeding works well for many moms and babies. The koala hold, with the baby in a position parallel to mom’s body, works for many babies.

• Attaching your baby at the breast
• Latching a baby on more comfortably

“One solution that has worked for some mothers is to sit on an office chair, holding the baby in your lap but not at your breast. Ask someone to spin the chair around; not too fast but until you feel a little dizzy, and then offer the breast. It seems that being a little disorientated stimulates a natural instinct to go to the breast.”

If your baby still isn’t breastfeeding despite time, patience, and trying the tips in this article, there’s always a reason— and with the help of a knowledgeable lactation consultant, you can work toward understanding it. Some babies may need medical care, others might benefit from tools like nipple shields, and a few require treatment for tongue tie. Many just need a bit more time.

A small number of babies never breastfeed, often due to medical conditions, and occasionally, the reason remains unknown. But breastfeeding is just one way to nourish and bond. You don’t have to feed directly at the breast to provide your baby with the benefits of your milk or the comfort of closeness. We’re here to support you in creating a loving, fulfilling feeding relationship—whatever that looks like for you and your baby.

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